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Does one just give up on an only sister? My dad and mom were separated before I was born in the s. I was raised an only child. Dad remarried two years after the divorce. Dad and stepmom moved out of state when I was 2 and had almost no contact with me growing up.

How to Leave Someone You Love, Pt I

They have three kids together. I got married in the mids. When we had our first child, my stepmom contacted us and asked for an opportunity to reconnect.

I accepted despite negative feelings toward my dad. I reconnected and all went fairly well for about 30 years. This required me to incur expense and travel out of state. I asked to participate in the planning. One half brother is an event planner in the city we were to meet. He said that he wanted to take over the planning, but that we would all be involved. He made plans, discussed them with my stepmom, and got her all excited. I knew the event was not something that I wanted to do and tried to be diplomatic about it.

My other half brother just said, " No. Both my event planner half brother and my half sister have become estranged from me and somewhat from my other half brother. My dad and stepmom refuse to get involved.


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How do we reconnect? Wait till a funeral? Forty years ago, my parents divorced, and our brother became estranged in many ways from his two sisters Fast forward to now, and Mom is 94, and another generation has been affected by the shunning behavior of my brother At one time, he was angry at me over politics, when I was a Republican, but I am back to being a Democrat. Now he maligns me for eating meat, but I think that no matter what, he would shun me. I have tried writing to my brother, but it never works out He and I were close as children, so our long rift has filled me with regret.

Few things are as emotionally upsetting as having a family member who has severed ties with you or with the whole family. Most of us work especially hard not to cut off ties with family, precisely because they are family. And so when someone does, it is often experienced by those cut off as being cavalier, petty, or the result of a failure to try hard enough. In short, he or she is holding a grudge.

Transcript

A grudge, by definition, is a thing that should not be held. A more stable person would not have taken offense in the first place and a bigger person would surely have let go of it by now. They know that what they are doing is protecting themselves, drawing essential boundaries, doing the only thing left to them to do.

None of this tells us whether those who withdraw from families are right or wrong, justified or not. Why we have such different versions of history. Emotional math. Everyone gets frustrated, resentful, disappointed, or even enraged with others on occasion. It may come out as shouting, sarcasm, snippiness, or simply a put-upon silence. But to the other person, your anger is exactly who you are.

Let Somebody Love Me

From their point of view, your anger is the threat — the very thing they were coping with in that moment. So you will tend to subtract your own emotions from the story, while the other person counts your emotions, say, double. And the same is true in reverse: You count their emotional reactions double, while they subtract them. Emotions influence what sticks in memory.

Now factor in that memories that have emotions involved have a big red tag on them, so that we locate and recall those memories easily, even years later and even when we would rather not recall them. I actually felt loved, and chosen, and special… for the first time in my life. You can feel loved, and chosen, and special, too. God loves you, and you can learn to feel and receive His love. So please, read this series and meditate on the truths it will show you. From my own journey, I will share how to feel like God loves you. Read my affiliate disclosure here.

Hi, I'm Jamie. Find more encouraging words over on my Facebook page , YouTube channel , or Pinterest account. Would you help me with my work of reaching people for Jesus as a domestic missionary? I need you; we are in this together! This blog, and all of our ministry efforts, are made possible through your partnerships, donations, and product purchases. If you'd like to help, please check out the partnership details and products available for sale here.

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